One of them was not a surprise. I did well at the preliminary MLA interview, and felt really good about my prospective "fit" with the department. The second one, however, did not go as well, thanks to some rather overly aggressive questioning from one faculty interviewer that bordered on hostility. The fact that the job was for a particularly specialized area of my field (Shakespeare) in which I don't particularly look like a specialist--at least on paper--made this the prospect of just an interview seem unlikely, yet here I am, at the second step in the process, with an invitation to visit this campus as well, and give the whole job talk (i.e. a sample lecture drawn from your dissertation) thing, while realizing that that experience may only confirm or further the impression that I'm not "really" a Shakespearean; hence the whole, "What the hell am I doing here?" chant that keeps going on in my head.
So the stress of prepping the job talk has made me only half there a lot of the time, and I'm very easily distracted. I have trouble multi-tasking where I didn't used to. Mainly, because my mind is so one-track these days.
As a result, I'm only semi-functional in other areas of my life, like, say, the job that pays me. I'm also very cranky and resentful at the job that pays me, and have been cutting corners out the wazoo so that I can do work that as yet, doesn't pay me...Sure my unpaid work is more interesting and challenging than my paid work, and sure, the goal is that someday soon, it will become paid work. But still, isn't it a bit messed up that I'm shirking the work that is paid? Although, perhaps it's even more messed up that I can afford to shirk the work that's paid, but not the work that's unpaid? I mean, seriously, how messed up is that?
I lose things. A couple of days ago, for instance, I was late for work because I couldn't find my glasses; I found them, and then promptly lost my keys. And I've been regularly been misplacing bills that I have to pay, though perhaps there's something subconscious going on there.
I avoid work because it stresses me out, and this stresses me out more. For the past few days I have had the experience of not wanting to get out of bed and wanting to remain completely unconscious and unaware of life's going ons...
I've also had some new insights into Murphy's Law; for instance:
1) The less time you have to socialize, the more that social opportunities will present themselves.
2) The more you forget or don't have time to eat, the less likely that there will be free food available to compensate your forgetting or your lack of time.
On the plus side, I did have a super cool and incredibly well timed good omen of a horoscope last week, courtesy of Rob Brezny's Free Will Astrology:
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The longest waves on the planet unfurl in the place where the Atlantic Ocean flows into the mouth of the Amazon River. The phenomenon is called the "pororoca" (from a word meaning "tumultuous noise"), and has become a favorite challenge for surfers. In 2003, a Brazilian daredevil named Picuruta Salazar rode a single wave for 37 minutes, gliding and plowing for almost eight miles. Judging from your current astrological omens, Taurus, I'd say that's an apt metaphor for the kind of wave you now have the chance to jump on. If you choose to give it a whirl, don't plan for a short sweet burst of adrenaline. Be ready for a long, rollicking balancing act.
So yah, that looks pretty good right? The only thing I'm wondering is whether I've successfully jumped on the wave, and whether perhaps I'm on the "balancing" part but not necessarily the "rollicking" part...And seriously, I could do with some good, healthy, rollicking.
Similarly, I have an excellent opportunity to decompress tomorrow night, thanks to a friend of mine--who is simultaneously on the job market and a member of one of the search committees checking me out--throwing a combined job market-decompression/birthday party themed on the literature of Edgar Allen Poe. Yup, Edgar Allen Poe. The famously termed "Master of Macabre." We're supposed to dress up like some of his characters, though I imagine dressing up like a corpse would generally suffice. Anyway, I plan on going as the Masque of the Red Death, and I'm very excited about it, because you know, I could really use some decompression.
I have not had the chance to bake in a while, though, which is sad. I was on a major spree before the holidays, as my last post shows, but I think it's a no-go for now, at least till all the flybacks are over. Still, in the spirit of future baking sprees, there are some additonal pictures of my holiday baking below, including a picture of the much-lauded molasses cookies I mentioned in my previous post--they're pictured next to pumpkin raisin walnut cookies in the tin (to Moon Goddess and Loon, I WILL share the recipe, at some point in the near future, I promise). I was also very excited about the sugar cookies. Granted, I didn't make these from scratch, but you have to admit the cookie cutter shapes are rather nice--namely the shoes...How freaking cool are the shoes? I think the snowflakes are the prettiest, because I went to the trouble of dyeing icing and all that, and originally I wanted to do that for the shoe cookies too--but I was running out of frosting that point, and was just plain tired. But check 'em out:
So that's all for now, folks...This weekend is going to be quite intense, and while most are enjoying a three day weekend, thanks to MLK, I will be working my little tushy off. Yippee....
Finally, I tried to get all the pictures lined up on the left, after first thinking I would center them. For whatever reason, those last two won't shove over. This blogger dashboard doesn't always work so well...and I'd edit the html if I could but I just don't know enough, so I guess I'll just have to deal with a weird layout..
